Dr. Bui: What is this? *points to the knee*
Class: Knee?
Dr. Bui: NOOO!! Not the knee! And you're not allowed to say "knee" anymore! You're supposed to say "Patellar!" REGION TERMS ONLY.

Problem with naps...
You can't go to sleep at night.
Oh wonderful.
Guess I'll be tossing and turning until 2 AM.
Or not.
Benadryl? sure, why not.
I hope Dr. Bui let's us out early tomorrow and stuff.
Then again, I kind of want to know how the lab works anyway.
I'm kind of sad that I will not be in the same class as Darin.
Although we are no longer on the same route of "going to Cal Poly Pomona together" anymore. It makes me kind of sad, but I think he's better off becoming an architect. He's pretty good at it. I just told him if his building collapses on him, I'll make his stitches look pretty.
I really think I should go to sleep, but I can't. =_=;
Okie. 1st attempt starts now.
I will see you all in the morning or something.
Oh lawdy, kill me now, please.

I just realized that I should have bought myself a voice recorder so I could tape my teacher's lectures when she isn't looking. This would help a lot, but I guess I'll wait it out until I really need it... oh God. Time to test this Anatomy book out at its best.

God, save me, please.

I found a lot of doodles from my senior year of high school. I drew on the back of my show music. This was during an away game against North High (I think) and I remember this very well because... I was sitting next to Fabian, and I didn't want to play because I felt too miserable, and he forgot his sax. I sat there drawing as Fabian told me what I should be drawing. The Cody was giving me a lesson in Japanese and taught me the kanji to his name. I also got bored and started drawing chords to "Starlight" by Muse and analyzed them. I also wrote a lot of Japanese on those papers. Oh, and attempted to keep up with Fabian's singing as I tried to write the lyrics.

Fun times. A lot of fun times. Kind of makes me miss it a lot. Oh well. Back to reality.

I feel like crap and sobby right now.
But watch
once I see ______________ tomorrow,
I'm going to embrace _______ and make it seem like nothing happened
and I'll be the happiest clam in the world.

--
I need to stop drawing people without eyes.

Dear Jamie, I've got a letter I would like to send
It's lacking strings of words with punctuation at the end
But should I trust this dialect
To convey the right effect?

Dear Jamie, I've got some things I'd like to set in pen
I would have used a pencil but lead's just not permanent
Should I trust my printer's ink
To express the things I think?

Every time I tried my best to think of something to contest
With inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say

Dear Jamie, this envelope will represent my heart
I'll seal it, send it off and wish it luck with its depart
And this stamp will be every action that carried my affection
Across the air and land and sea

But should I trust the postage due
To deliver my heart to you?

Every time I tried my best to think of something to contest
With inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say

Every page I tried my best to fill with something to contest
with inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say

I'll give you all I can
A flower and a hand
I hope this helps you see
Signed, sincerely, me
--
This song reminds me of my parents and how they wrote letters to each other when they were apart for 10 years. Maybe one day I'll ask if I can read what they wrote to each other.
...I wonder why the song only ends with "Sincerely, Me" rather than "Love, Me" or "From, Me". Maybe it just adds something to the song. I don't know. One day I'll dissect these lyrics.

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's till the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's black leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades, in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses

Nothing much happened today. I ended up doing more laundry than I usually do. Need to finish that up soon. I learned a different route to teh field from my brother's school. I don't really like Downtown Long Beach because its strange. You can only go one way on each street, and I was honked at for letting pedestrians cross. Honestly, they could've moved. After picking up my brother and his friends and dropped them off to practice (I'm soccer mom status without my van. This sucks), I ended up makinga visit to band camp O_o. Yes. Spur of the moment, I guess. I got there when they were going through music. Made my rounds from hornline, drumline, and guard. I gave Allison a ride to Scroc field and ended up talking to Mr.A for a while. I ended up teching for a little bit o_O; and played a bit of first aid. Yeah, I have no idea. We'll see ~_~;

Kat doesn't want to go back to school. I reeallly don't.

I think now is the time to actually ask him what will happen.
3 months is nothing compared to 10 years, but I know I should not compare.
Soon...just soon.

Yes. Those are eyes in a jar.

"I miss you" by Incubus

"To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you. "

I think I'm going to dissect these later in the year. Maybe. I can only relate to some of the lyrics, not all of them. Then again, who can relate to all of the lyrics? Er...nevermind.




















Pictures from: http://sleepyfeet.deviantart.com

DAMN YOU EMOTIONS. THANKS TO YOU, I DON'T LIKE HOW I FEEL ANYMORE.
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU.

I usually split my name to fit two different set of moods/personalities for fun.
I don't have Dissociative Identity Disorder, I swear. I'm semi-normal, believe me. This emerged when I was having troubles during Summer & Fall of 07. Its just something that would organize my emotions because they wree just so cluttered everywhere. They...sort of help me, I guess. They're my inner demons or something like that. Once more, I do not suffer from DID or MPD. I would like to think of myself as either bipolar or chronically depressed. But let's discuss my psychological state another time (LOL).

Kat and Rina hate each other's guts.
I'll post their fight once their done arguing...

...I don't expect anyone will understand this blog. Really, most of it is just nonsense...

I drew this around June. I titled it "18th Floor Balcony on Repeat" only because that was the only song playing over and over again, and that was the song that help me get through that picture(?). I didn't have the image of this. I was going to use two other people/characters, but it came out to be me and him. I don't like my left arm too much...but I didn't know how else to fix it. The more I look at it, the more I want to fix it, but I keep it in my mind that I no longer have the original, so I can't fix it.

Oh stereotyping, how you screw everyone up.
--
This is why I have a blog!
--
Recently, my friend has been complaining how the media has been imaging the asians and stereotyping them. He also mentions something about why filipinas are not proud to date filipinos? He started going off about filipino guys being short. I told him that its just a matter of prefereance, not pride. So what if a filipino girl dates a white, hispanic, or Afircan American guy? it's up to the person. Then his friend started saying something about the filipino guys are placed into the typical asian stereotype. My friend agreed with his friend's answer. Not everyone stereotypes. I asked my friend what he meant by that typical asian male stereotype, and he started going on about they're the quiet, nerdy, short, no social life and does a whole lot of math problems. I rolled my eyes at this, because the filipinos have their OWN stereotype. Although the filipinos tend to mesh with the asian stereotype, we still have our own stereotype, just like the Japanese, Chinese, Koreans, and other asians. I kind of wanted to write "I LOVE MY QUIET DORKY, MATH LOVING FILIPINO BOYFRIEND" (this be true. He is a dork LOL ) just to prove a point, but then again, I decided not to. He also started mentioning about asian men being desirable, which I was a little confused because he brough the media into the conversation. I always thought there was a difference between the media and the prefereance of one person. Ril answered to that and started telling him that the media may protray some people like that, but it depends how one percieves himself (I'm using "he" here because of the whole asian men thing). He started syaing that he didn't like how the mainstream media is portraying asian men, and thats the reason why they're never getting any dates. Last time I checked, Asian guys are more concerned about their next test than dating (LOL I'm kidding, please do not take that to offense). Of course, if the asian man does not like how the media portrays his culture or something, then it is up to him to fix it! It just got me kind of mad that he was using that stereotype, and he himself was stereotyping women. I quote:

"Wake up women (especially you asian women), we're not all math nerds and quiet... so stop lumping us all into the mainstream stereotype!"

Goodness, sir! First you hate it that people stereotype you, and now you're stereotyping women! ASIAN women in that fact! You think that all asian women think that asian me are all math nerd and have a quite demeanor! Honestly dude, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO NOT PUT THOSE THINGS ON YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS MESSAGE because then you're going to get everyone mad... but I'm digressing. His whole argument was invalid due to this statement! You want people to think you're different from them other asians that are believed that are quiet, skinny, short and have their calculators out, but you're stereotyping here! I was going to give him a piece of my mind, but then his other friend told him to "stfu" and proceeded to tell him otherwise. Thank you other friend I do not know!

I've been told many times, "If you don't like the situation you're in, then don't complain about it, do something about it to get OUT of it." I wonder if he'll do the same.

I don't like staying up so late, but at the same time, I kind of do.

Good: From past late-nights, I guess I am more creative when I am awake so late. I'm not sure why.

Bad: I start to over think things way more than I should. This is where most of my panic and worry moments have come. Sleep is probably one of the few things that can relax me because, well, I am asleep.

For the many times I have been driving my brother to his football practice, I never noticed that just a few streets down was the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. After a long time gap, I decided to visit them. Everything was the same at the cemetery, just more people underground. Curious as I was, I decided to look around because I haven't see this many people before. There were new plaques that weren't featured when Lola or Lolo died. Even if we did see those plaques, I don't think our family could afford them. Plus the plaque Lola and Lolo has is nice. As I plucked out the dead carnations from the bouquet that was placed for the both for them, I looked around at the new neighbors. There was one plaque in particular that I saw while walking to the trash can. Born in 1989, died in 2009. He and I almost the same age! It broke my heart to see someone who died so young. The plaque featured pictures of him through his life with various people. I don't know him at all, and here I am ready to cry my eyes out. I made a small note to myself that I should drop by and say hi to him, as well as the other neighbors the next time I see Lola and Lolo.

I make it seem like the dead are really alive. I'm not delusional. I know my grandparents are dead. I wish they were alive, but they are not. I guess its something to do with respect. Hm... I'll figure it out soon...

I spend way too much time with my curling iron.

I realized that my gallery no longer shows up online. I am very sad that this has happened considering those were like...3 years worth of pictures. My pictures have found a new home on photobucket, but it will take me a while to get all of my pictures online. Goodness, these were pictures from like.. my sophomore year of high school 'til my senior year in high school. Funny how much we all have changed since then. We matured, cut our hair, maybe acquired glasses that we refuse to wear until our eyes got so bad that we had to. Then I started becoming inactive with my photo updates. I tend to put it off anyway...
I think the only reason why I don't want to upload these pictures because I become extremely nostalgic and sad. I miss how things used to be, but life moves on as we stay put. We need to keep moving forward if we want to catch up ( Neither do i have any idea what I just said there, nor do I know where I was going with that...)
...I'm also considering putting my pictures in my iPod just to store em. But then I realized how bad I treat my poor iPod.
--
I've been wanting to get a haircut for a while now... I'm not sure if I should keep the length or cut it short again. I also need to see if someone can take some of the weight off of my hair =O=... uugggh hair cuts. I need a haircut.
--
I got $2O from selling my $75 psych book. You have no idea how pissed off I am.
--
August is here and today is Markie's birthday. For the many years we've been cousins, we've always told each other "Hey! We're the same age today!". Markie and I are 1O months apart. I would look through pictures when we're toddlers, and we look about the same age and height (at the time... he's so much taller now. And darker!). Markie is 18 now. Happy Birthday, Mark! Now go and buy yourself porn, cigarettes and a lotto ticket. I know you wanna.
--
The insition on my neck is closing, so that means the draining from my cyst is done (I think). I don't feel a cyst anymore, but I have to wait until the cut is fully healed. It'll scar, but I don't mind. The more reason for people to freak out when they see my neck :) ! OH! AND THIS MEANS I DON'T HAVE TO GET SURGERY! I'm so happy! No need for visits in the hopsital because they had to cut my neck open! :) tee hee.
--
I don't have much to report these days... hm. :| One of these days, I'll figure it out, somehow.