My skin, my weight, my size.

I know she's embarrassed of me.

It explains why she won't let me leave the house until it's all covered.

All of it.

Mostly my dots.

As if I'm not embarrassed of myself already.

So, what happened?

Well, I was dancing the choreo to BEAST's "Shock" and there's this move where you sorta kick back your left leg, and you touch the bottom of you foot/shoe and then this whole head swirl blah blah.

During that, I accidentally kicked my hand and I jammed my finger. I feel kind of stupid for inflicting an injury upon myself and it was totally unintentional. Didn't know I was capable of doing something-- no wait, I'm lying. I think I have some idea that I could accidentally injure myself.

Anyway, my middle finger is swollen and taped together to prevent any movement (its really painful. you;re all prolly wondering how i am typing (believe me, im trying to figure that out too).

There are some things I can't do coz i lack in two other fingers.

1. Have the strength to turn the lazy susan in my house.

2. write

3. type

4. do the "V" sign

5. give a proper thumbs up

6. coil my hand into a fist.

7. Flick ppl off. A lot of ppl were making me very angry today. I guess they got really lucky today...

This is just me babbling around right now. My brother doesn't really want to hear me vent, so this is kind of open.

This is extremely devastating. I can't remember what time I remember seeing twitter suddenly go into an uproar about Japan and the earthquake. I told my friend to check up on her mom since the epicenter of the earthquake was in Tokyo, Japan and it was said that the quake could be felt all the way in Beijing.

Livestreamed that, then saw the tsunami wave. My brother came into my room and informed me and I showed him what was going on. The news also said that other countries were in a tsunami alert, one of them being the Philippines. The two of us ran to my parents room, telling them the news. Mama didn't panic much, but said she would call in the morning. I tried my best to find one of my cousins via facebook and ask them how they're holding up over there. I got lucky and found one of them and she said that everyone is doing all right and asked how I was over here. I said we're okie at this end.

Then there was word that California was given tsunami warnings, which made me panic when the announced what time the first wave was expected to his San Pedro. How could I go to sleep with that knowledge laying my head?

I had to check up on Nikki. Baa-chan is in Japan, but we didn't knowwhere. Nikki already asked Tita Virgie but Tita didn't mention Baa-chan, so Nikki assumed that she's okie.

I stayed up all way through, waiting, praying when it was the Philippines' expected time for the first wave. I can't remember much after that. I just remember waking up and sitting in the dining room for a bit.

My friends in Hawaii are okie, although, I haven't talked to Brian yet... I hope he's okay.

My dad woke up and I started telling him what was going on in Japan with the Tsunami and the Earthquake. I slightly freaked out because I didn't want Kevin to go to school since his high school is about 12 blocks or so away from the beach. (In irony to this, my brother said that he brought his swimming goggles to shool).

I kept tabs on the news, flipping channels from CNN to the morning local news. It was switching back and forth between Japan and California. It was scary how Ventura County was showing signs of whirlpools (not to mention that big one in Japan. That was the first real life whirlpool I've ever seen).

Baa-chan lives in Fukushima. That's outside of Tokyo and it got hit pretty hard. Tita hasn't been able to get in contact with her yet, and we're all still waiting. God, I hope she's okie...

I talked to Ferds this morning asking him if he's all right. He told me that he's fine and everyone is asleep. He also said that there was light rain and that the government was expecting a tsunami later that morning. I asked him if they're going to evacuate and he said that he didn't know. "We'll just pray" he told me.

So much tweeting and sending out info to ppl who didn't know what was going on. Practically typing whatever CNN or the local news was spilling out to me.

I had to block some of the kpop news tweets because they were getting in the way of everything I needed to know. Japan is waaay more important than B2st landing in Thailand right now...

I feel weak. I really want to do something to help, but I'm not sure what. Maybe CKI can do something? Relief Fundraiser for Japan? I don't know. Maybe we'll talk about it at the next meeting, but I really want to help. I really do..

The sleepy is kicking in...

Baa-chan

Family sa Pilipinas

Everyone

Be safe.

Please.

2. Anger: NO. NO. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME TAKE IT. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH PAIN IT GIVES ME WHEN I PRESS THAT BUTTON?! NO. JUST, NO.

3. Bargaining: ...If I don't take this medication.. I promise... I'll stop saving pictures of Kikwang..wait that's impossible. I'LL STOP BUYING STUFF ONLINE.

4. Sadness: I HATE MY DOTSSSSS T_____T MY POOR POOR T-CELLS....

5. Acceptance: ...All right... might as well get this over with... I mean, it'll just hurt for a little while and then get better. Just make sure you steer clear from sick people... *bites towel* here goes nothing.