Either way, I kinda want it to stop :|

I don't get it?

I sent you:

And you sent me a long text, stating, in the beginning, "sir/madam", pretending that you do not know I am, telling me that you have no record of sending me a blank text of any sort, and then suggesting to save this number under the title "don't worry."

"don't worry"? The nerve of you to put that down! How dare you play it off as if you don't know me. You know who the hell I am! Don't pretend you don't know me! Who else would you say that too, your new girlfriend?! Does she panic as much as I do?! Well, I don't know! What the hell is your problem! YOU KNOW WHO I AM, JUST STOP FUCKING AROUND! UGH. You're lucky I deleted your number, or else this bitch fit would have been in all caps on your PHONE.

You sick, freak! What were you trying to do, try to trigger a response from me? A better one after you sent that text?! I'm being polite! You should be too! Ugh! I wasn't asking for a long ass response! I JUST WANTED YOU TO GET THE FUCKING MEMO TO STOP BOTHERING ME. AND YOU WON. YOU FUCKING WON. I REALLY HOPE I DON'T SEE YOU EVER AGAIN.

I'M

SO

ANGRY.

WHY DID I DO THAT AUGH.

I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, FUCKER.

This Sunday is DLSSP. It's a really big project that is stretched out from NorCal, SoCal, Nevada and Hawaii is invited. We're rebuilding a school in San Diego. Sounds like fun, yeah? I wanted to go.

My dad said no.

Slightly annoyed. Okie, make that I'm very annoyed. I'm crying so much right now and I know shouldn't even be making such a big deal about it.

But I don't feel good about myself.

I sit here and watch over my brother. Am I really making any difference? No. I'm just making sure he doesn't go kill himself again. Big responsibility, yeah? I don't know. I'm at the point where I think that what ever happens to him, well, yeah.

I don't know, I just want to make a difference out there. I want to do something that I can feel good about myself.

It's not the end of the fucking world.

But I want to be a part of this mission.

I really want to help and feel good that I'm helping, not like it's some obligation, but because I want to.

I want to help.

I just want a day for myself.

I don't feel good about myself at all.

PS- I'm out of money in my checking account. I'm cutting off whatever I'm planning to buy online and stuffing whatever money I have in my little money bank thing into my bank account.

no more tentative SMTOWN LIVE & Korean Music Festival money in case I want to go.

PPS- I can't let him know I'm crying. He'll just make a big deal out of it and make me feel worse.

Nothing is going to change.

Nothing.

or cocky

or narcissistic

or gall

just a thought. Oh well.

I feel all weird =_=, but why should I care?

Okie. Back to learning LLO OTL

Kat: What? No. I cut off all contact with him when he and I broke up. I deleted him off my facebook, AIM, MSN, Skype, my cellphone-- everything that I kind of contact.

Shaun: Damn. Do you hate him that much?

Kat: It's not that-- well, maybe. More on the unforgiving side right now. Plus it'll help me get over him faster.

Shaun: I see. Are you looking?

Kat: Hahaha, Shaun, what kind of question is that?

Shaun: I'm just asking.

Kat: I'm not necessarily looking. If it happens, it happens. In reality, I'm not expecting anything since school is still a priority for me. But, if someone comes my way and approaches me, it wouldn't hurt to date. Plus I never had that middle ground of the period where you're just "dating" someone.

Shaun: Yeah, me either. Well, at least we save money for not buying anyone anything for Valentine's Day.

Kat: I've always hated that holiday. It's not even a holiday is it?

Shaun: I remember you said this in the 8th grade, haha. Why?

Kat: Too much pink and everyone being too happy. Not enough time to kill everyone.

Shaun: ...this explains a lot.