Sunday, September 13, 2009
I feel bad. I was in a cranky mood last night. I had a lot on my mind, and I built a wall between us only to protect myself and so I don't have to deal with what is coming up. As we both know, that's coming up. I think the lack of communication made me feel weird to talk to you. Then again, I also didn't text you or anything because I knew you were going to be busy on your trip, and I didn't want to disturb you on your vacation. Courtesy, I guess, as well as putting you before me. It wasn't right for me to be pissed off here, while you were getting wrong idea while we were talking over there. The moment you told me "I love you" after a whole week, I didnt know what to say. A part of me wants to wanted to call you out. Another part of me wanted to cry and sign off and try to study again. And of course, there was that part of me that didn't answer for a while, and pretended that I didn't see right away. It's not that I don't love you--you know that I do. I should stop playing mind reader. I have a really bad idea that since we're together, I would think that you would understand how I feel without even telling you. Bad, mistake. I should've told you that week. I should've told you that maybe you should plan somethings because I feel like I'm the only one working on it here. You have a whole week free, while I don't. It wouldn't hurt to ask me a few days before if I was busy or not. And if I was busy, I'm sure we could've worked out another time to hang out. But I guess it's too late now. You're leaving soon, and if I bring this upon you, I know it will bother you until you come back. I'm giving you a quarter to see what happens.
posted by Kat at 9:05 AM |